[vol.15] Park, Min-na's life story_ Life stories of Unemployed Women Householders
WORKING WOMAN 2008. 3. 20. 11:54Min Na Park(Editorial staff of Seoul Women Workers Association)
Today, some women householders gather together. One woman is a 42 years old mother raising two daughters and a son by herself after her husband's runaway. Another is 39 year old divorced mother, who is raising a son in the fourth grade four. The other is a 51 year old woman who has been raising a son and a daugter by herself after her husband's death.
The current economic turmoil has presented serious barriers to them. But, they have managed to survive so far. Their children encouraged them to do their best and work hard. But the descendence of a sudden monster, the so-called IMF presents even more hardships.
How can they continue surviving while so many people are looking for jobs? Both single mothers and unemployed husbands have come out for jobs. Even housewives staying at home for many years have joined the queue, to take economic responsibilities as breadwinners. But, our economy has shrunk and become distorted. It is difficult to make a living and find jobs. This is not just the story of others. This is happening in our homes. Let's listen to these women householderss who have gone through so many difficulties.
- Story of Baek Mi-kyung with no tears (pseudonym, a 42 year old mother with two daughters and a son)
I don't have any room in my heart to cry. In 1992 my husband's business went bankrupt. Creditors often chased my family. At that time, my third child became just three years old. But suddenly, my husband disappeared.. I didn't know what to do. I felt blocked by walls.
I was resentful towards my husband, but I did not cry. At night, my family ran away from my apartment. I thought about going to my parent's home, but I felt that they were unlikely to welcome my penniless family. I didn't want to feel bad, so I rented a room with some money borrowed from a friend. Since that moment, my family has endured hellish battles. Fortunately, I managed to find a job as a bookkeeper , a job that I held before marriage.
I tried not to let other know that I didn't have a husband. I would have experienced condemnation from this society if people knew, and my self-esteem would not allow that. I told my children that their father went overseas to earn money. My children have grown up nicely and studied hard. They comfort me a lot.
One day, my sister's friend asked me to run a small shop together. I thought it would be better for my children in terms of economy and time. However, due to IMF, the shop had to be shut down. Now, it is difficult to find a job, even as a domestic helper. I have never allowed my children to starve. What I am the most worried about is their school fees. I shall do what I can. I have applied for public works. I can have managed so far...
- Story of Lee Kang-ja who divorced a playboy husband (pseudonym, a 39 year old mother with two sons)
Just before my wedding, my husband mentioned he lived with his 9 year old nephew. However, this child turned out to be his real son. I had sensed that before, but I accepted that because I thought it wasn't the child's fault.
However, my problem is my husband. One day, I received invoices from different banks. He borrowed money to finance his exploits with women. He made use of his job, a revenue office clerk to borrow money from banks. He was very irresponsible, and didn't care about the invoices at all. His sisters and brothers were not concerned either. They just thought his behavior was like his father's, a gangster who also played with women. I felt very frustrated by these people's coldness.
We couldn't make a live nor pay the debts by his salary only. I was desperate. I started looking for a job, but this was very difficult. I learned how to sew through working at small workshops. I bought a sewing machine and worked at home, fixing clothes and making goods for home fashion. But, I couldn't make even 200,000 WON. My husbands was fired; however, his bad habit continued. We fought a lot. He started to beat me. One day, he broke my ribs. I didn't have any hope left in the marriage.
I wanted to kill myself. But I couldn't, because my son just entered primary chool. I got divorced. I rented a room for my son me and even my step son. My husband was so irresponsible that he did not even care about his own son.
I sewed at home, but I could not make a living. I worked at restaurants and did anything else that I could. I nearly re-paid all the debts that my husband borrowed under my name. But, suddenly Korea fell into this terrible IMF. I became unemployed.. I could no longer work at restaurants or sew at home, either. I don't know how to make a living during this time.
- Story of Mihn Kyong-sook shouting in front of her husbands tomb (pseudonym, a 51 year old mother with a son and a daughter)
I usually blame my husband whenever my family goes to his tomb. Son of bitch, are you happy to die so early? It is not comfortable to raise my nicely-grown children all by myself, you son of bitch (laughing). He liked people and drinking, but he had poor lungs and high blood pressure. We often had to go to the hospital. When he drank with his friend one summer, the blood in his brain was torn. At that time, my oldest child was 6 years old, the other 4 years old, and I was 37 years old. I was just a housewife.
Sighing. I was so upset. When we finished the 49 day ceremony after his death, I became a street vendor in front of the Bangbae middle school. Just when my business was getting better, the school moved to another area.
Then, I sold flowers and worked as a promotion seller for cakes and yogurts in the street. I worked as a cleaner in apartment blocks. Since my daughter was so young, I had to take her with me. It was very difficult, both for me and my daughter. I have worked hard, and my children study very well. They never went to private study-guiding centers, but they were class presidents and studied very well. I was pleased. When my daughter was elected as student president in her primary school, I even became the leader of the parents' association of the school (laughing )!
I also worked in a restaurant. They worked me like a horse. I worked hard, but they fired me because their businesswas not so good after IMF. I thought I could find another job, but nobody wants to hire me. Since I became unemployed two months ago, I have been feeling terrible.
I have tried to find a job as a domestic helper, but younger mothers are preferred. I feel sad. I am anxious. Time just passes by while I do nothing. That is why I am angry when I think my husband just enjoy himself in the fresh air under the ground. Dying is nothing compared to making a living. I feel like he has no worries in the other world. I can do nothing except sell myself (laughing)!
- They Are Still Smiling.
They smile a lot. I guess they have tried to give have hopes and inspiration for their children. I feel that. They are struggling to survive and will do so with much courage. However, the problem in society is that few people care about single mothers and grossly inadequate legal measures exist for women householders. This IMF period drives them into despair, driving them from their jobs.
They share sadness. People ignore and look down on them when others know they are women without husbands. Others hurt them. Men start to play around them. Since they have gone through so much harassment, they never let others know their status. They said that their husbands are the problem if they are with them or not.
I feel sad. In Korean society, I can empathize with women householders who are in great difficulties in caring for their family and establishing their egos. Let's have hope in ending this troubled IMF period as soon as possible. Let's make efforts to establish legal measures for them. Let's give others our warm hands to share with them. Let's change our society into the direction where women can stand up without having to dependend on their husbands.